In Search of a Shrubbery

I gather there are people who enjoy reading travel guides.  Not browsing in them, mind.  Reading straight through them.  They pick up a copy of the Lonely Planet Guide to Latvia and they start at page 1 and read straight through.  They read about the prevalence of ATMs, the average temperature, how much the taxi drivers will try to rob you, and whether the hotel on Fifth Street is clean or not.  If that sounds like fun to you, then I have a book recommendation for you.

How do I know there must be people who enjoy reading travel guides?  Because otherwise, Bill Bryson’s Notes From a Small Island would not exist.

 Bill Bryson decides to travel around England and write about his trip.  If you like the sound of that, you can read the whole book right here:

“On (insert day of week) I arrived in (insert Town Name).  I was surprised to find the town to be so (quaint/unimpressive [pick one]).  I checked into a hotel which was (charming/dilapidated) and then set off to see the (insert famous landmark in town).  On the way I ran into a (young/middle-aged/retired) person who told me a (historical/quirky) story.  The (landmark mentioned above) was (interesting/boring).  (Insert humorous story or anecdote.)   Realizing I was hungry, I went to the local (restaurant/pub) and had a drink and a (delicious/indifferent) meal.  I tottered off to bed and the next morning I left by (bus/train).  The landscape was (scenic/bleak). “

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

And so on.

I learned one thing from reading this book.  I really, really don’t care about English cities.  At all.  I thought I might care about English cities after reading Alice in Sunderland.  (Not a typo—Alice in Sunderland is a different book than Alice in Wonderland.  The latter is more famous (but you knew that).  It is also better.  Indeed, Alice in Wonderland  is the best book mentioned in this blog post.  So, if you ever have to choose between the Lonely Planet Guide to The Great Lakes and Alice in Wonderland for a pleasant evening’s read, it is not a contest.  This sort of public service announcement is what keeps bringing Readers back to this blog.  But I digress.)  At times Bryson’s book reminded me of Alice in Sunderland.  I suspect I am the first person to make that comparison.  But, while I can imagine reading the Alice book again (any of the three Alice books to which that could refer), I cannot imagine reading Bryson’s book again.

That is not to say that Bryson’s book is without interest.  He is funny.  At times, he is quite funny.  A book of “The best jokes and stories in Bryson’s book” would be a pleasant little thing for an evening of leisurely reading.  But, to take those amusing little stores and bury them in a whole bunch of pointless travel matter is certainly a way to make the book longer but not a way to make the book more enjoyable.

Still, that being said, I enjoyed Bryson’s book.  This may be in part because it was a gift from a former student (thanks, Mahua!) and so I was predisposed to be in a good mood while reading it.  It may also be that the amusing anecdotes are liberally enough spread throughout the narrative to keep it from flagging too much.  But, all that being said: I cannot figure out the market for a book like this.

Then again, I don’t like travel as much as the average person does.  Maybe the rest of humanity reads tales of tours of English towns and fancies being there and so a book like this is akin to a vicarious vacation and maybe people like vicarious vacations involving lots of travel.  Now that I think about it, earlier today one of my colleagues was talking about how he would have liked to have organized a class on a replica of an ancient sailing ship and sailed around the Mediterranean recreating the voyage of Odysseus.  (Note how I carefully avoided mentioning the book title so that I don’t have to go back and rewrite the above section saying that the Alice in Wonderland is the best book mentioned in this post.  The not-actually-mentioned book by Homer is, truth be told, even better.) So, obviously travelling does appeal to some people.  Even if it does involved meeting Scylla.

Now that I think about it: Bill Bryson’s book would have been a lot better if Merlin and Dragons and Knights who say Ni had shown up every now and then.