Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Nothing is going to happen in this blog

The absence of plot leaves the reader room to think about other things.
Every man’s work—whether it be literature or music or pictures or architecture or anything else—is always a portrait of himself.
Nothing is going to happen in this book.
I am quite content to go down to posterity as a scissors-and-paste man.
If you want to write serious books, you must be ready to break the forms.

More David Shields.  Or, really,  more David Shields plagiarizing other people.   

Maybe I agree with those things.  Emphasis on maybe. 

I recently read Wodehouse, Doctor Sally.  That is true.  Does that mean that what I am about to write about it is also true?

It’s trivially easy to write in cryptic epigrams.

It’s even easier to read cryptic epigrams.

Maybe you learned something from reading that last paragraph.  Maybe I just said something about myself.  Is this paragraph an autobiography?

Doctor Sally is about as formulaic a Wodehouse novel as there ever was.  Then again, I suppose that could be written about every Wodehouse novel. You could write the entire plot by the end of the second chapter and you wouldn’t have missed a thing.  That is, of course, the beauty of Wodehouse.  One part of me stands aside his books simply admiring his ability to take a perfectly predictable plot with perfectly predictable jokes and turn it into yet another masterpiece.  The lack of variety is part of the very joke woven into the novel.  “The male mind did not appear to be able to grasp immediately that a woman doctor need not of necessity be a gargoyle with steel-rimmed spectacles and a washleather complexion.”  I am not at all sure why that quotation was just put in at this point in the paragraph.  Which is, in a nutshell,  the problem with reading David Shields.  If he is right, then it makes no difference what follows what and in what order it all comes and how it is all phrased.  It doesn’t even matter if that is really a quotation form Doctor Sally or not.  Shields is a literary nihilist.  Wodehouse is not.

I sat down to write and saw Wodehouse and Shields sitting side by side—I hadn’t reshelved Shields yet from yesterday’s ruminations, which is exactly the sort of meaningless trivial detail which has absolutely no possible relevance to anyone and yet is an accurate summary of the situation.  Gissing (if I recall correctly) once wrote a novel having a character in it who was a novelist (following me?) whose goal was to write the most realistic novel ever by making it so boringly realistic nobody could ever read it.  Life is like that.  Just boring details.  A blog cataloging boring details, like the location of the books in one’s office, would serve no purpose whatsoever.   And yet, here I am writing about it.  And even worse, you Dear Reader, are reading about it.

I now know what I set out to discover: I enjoyed reading both Wodehouse and Shields.  Yet, only one of them is saying something True.  And it is the writer of fiction.  Doctor Sally reminds us once again that life is a comedy; it is full of improbable events and the only proper reaction to living in this vale of tears is to laugh and laugh and laugh.  Any other way leads to madness.  Shields, despite being funny, has forgotten to laugh.  He takes this whole writing business far too seriously; he wants writing to dig deep and expose one’s soul in some sort of autobiographical auto-da-fe, all the while arguing that there is really no way to do so.  Again, despite being funny, Shields has written a very grim book.  If my library was not ordered alphabetically (look—another detail about the location of books in my office!), I would put Shields’ Reality Hunger next to The Anatomy of Melancholy in the hopes that the latter would somehow teach the former that a book with nary a joke in sight is both funnier and a better picture of the human soul than the funny book with the nihilistic view of life and literature. 

Come to think of it—this idea of ordering the books in my office by determining which books really should get together for a talk over coffee has staggering implications.  Where would Doctor Sally go?  Next to this, I suppose.


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